“And I’m Here to Remind You of the Mess You Left When You Went Away” - Alanis Morissette
An open letter to The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight,*
Hey guys, congratulations. You’ve done it, just as you said you would.
All that recent hard work, the wheeling and dealing has paid off, as you promised. You’ve left your mark on the Warrior franchise, one that will far outlast the rest of your days with the organization.
And when your tenure is officially over in August, and you are collectively escorted out of the building, you will be able to look back at all of this, your recent - but lasting - moves:
- You’ve fulfilled the Warriors pressing need to stockpile power forwards. By selecting the 10th best player as the sixth pick in the NBA draft, you decided to go a minimum of four deep at the 4. Whoops, sorry, hold the phone, this may have already have gone by the wayside: one power forward is out with soreness in an injured shoulder, another was shipped out, and the newest addition is sidelined four to six months with a wrist injury last week. Looks like you may need to try to reload with 4s once again…
- You decided not to re-sign Anthony Morrow, the NBA’s top 3-point shooter. By declining to match a $4 mil/yr offer sheet, you decided the signings of lesser designated shooters for significantly more was not relevant;
- You’ve “replaced” Morrow with, as you say, your own Bruce Bowen. Dorell Wright. Bad knees have kept him sidelined for most of the last 3 seasons, but when he played, he averaged a stunning 7.1 points per game;
- Saving the best for last, you will be remembered mostly for the landmark acquisition of power forward David Lee, at the bargain price of $80 million. That you had to part with Anthony Randolph, Ronny Turiaf and Kelenna Azubuike was of little consequence to you, we know.
It’s quite an ending to your legacy, we know, all this action. But the merits of David No-D for Big Ant, Ronny and ’Buke deserve its own detailing, and we wouldn’t want to deprive you of that. First, all the positives. You’ve:
- Made a big money trade.
- Added offense and rebounding.
- Found a guy who compliments Steph Curry. Lee runs an excellent pick and roll, as Duhon’s 22 assists in a game against the Warriors last season demonstrated.
- Halted the Warriors downward spiral, creating a team that will win more games than last year. The new Warriors lineup, full bore, maxed out talent is a 40 win team, up from 26 victories last season. That a 40 win season is still 10 short of making the playoffs is of little concern (to you) at the moment…
- Freed Anthony Randolph to go to greener pastures. He now has a coach who can actually help him improve, harness his incredible skill set to become an elite NBA player (We predict top five within five years, but hold that thought for a different narrative on a different day).
- Added a marketable security to the roster, a guy who can talk to the press (something that really counts on The Gang’s ledger…)
- Left a mark (or, as some call it, a scar).
But it’s not all roses and dunks. Now that your 15 minutes are almost up, let’s talk turkey. Our good friend Ali (Alanis to you) was singing about the liability side of the David Lee trade balance sheet. Remember, there’s no free lunch, and you have:
- Subtracted defense. This, when you think about it, is truly remarkable because no one thought it possible.
- Deftly managed to tie up franchise salary cap space, maxing out the Warrior’s upside for years to come.
- You’ve brought on a $13 mil/yr front line guy who plays no defense and can’t block shots.
- Shipped out Turiaf, the fan and teammate favorite who brought energy, enthusiasm and some shot blocking. News flash: just because the
- Finally, you’ve extended the Clippers – er – the Warriors legacy for several extra years, while the rest of the league smirks and giggles behind your back. Even you guys must know that going from 48 wins to 26 wins in three short seasons means that no one understands your long range strategy to build a successful franchise.
Yes, we understand it’s difficult to go out quietly with a 26-win team. So instead, mortgage the future (someone else’s to inherit) and achieve your ultimate goal. Yes, striving for mediocrity has found its path to the NBA.
Thank you, and goodbye.
P.S. – File it under the “too funny to be true” dept.: Mike Dunleavy Sr. was in town last week to discuss a possible front office job when the Warriors are sold. That is just priceless, likely done to insure the franchise metamorphosis from Warriors ineptitude to Clippers incompetence...
As Always, Go Warriors!
* The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight, for the uninitiated, are comprised of GM-in-training Larry Riley, IRS scofflaw and soon to be ex-owner Chris Cohan, L’il Bobby Rowell, and soon to be ex-coach Maui Nellie.
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